


The Volunteer

by Rougescribe (rougescribe)



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Head Injury, Hospital, Injured Character, Modern Day, Nalu - Freeform, NatsuxLucy, Open Ending, possible continuation later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-01-07 07:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougescribe/pseuds/Rougescribe
Summary: Bed ridden and hospitalized until further notice- Lucy lives her days in boredom, except for the days when Natsu Dragneel comes to visit. He's neither a friend or family, but his volunteering to visit her has always been appreciated during her times alone. - but what is he hiding?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to popularity on tumblr, this may come with a second part- but for now, it's a stand alone one-shot.

It was his third visit that week.

The room smelled far too clean- enough to make her head pound- or it was the dwindling painkillers in her system. Lucy couldn't be sure while drifting in and out of sleep, appointments, physical therapy and strapped to either a bed or wheelchair was enough to muddle anyone's ability to put two and two together. Fortunately, the pain wasn't enough to distract her, or enough to make her refuse visitors. Squeezing her eyes shut, she took in a deep breath and quickly changed the bed angle with a click of a button.

She wanted to see him. "- have I become boring?" She asked, good naturedly, soft smile pulling on her lips while a chill ran down her spine. Why was the room always so cold? Her guest, a man with a sunny smile framed by dimples and brightly colored hair, entered as he always did- with a purpose. 

"Last week you saw me almost every day. You're slacking off."

"Sorry, Lu-" He chuckled, visitor badge shining under the fluorescent lighting as he turned to face her:  **Natsu D** . "I had to start work again." His voice came off hurried, slightly out of breath. Had he run to her room?

His words made her brows knit together, slightly pulling at the stitching on her forehead. "Huh, it makes sense you'd have a job, but for some reason I thought you worked here….?" the question fell through the air while he pulled a chair close.

It scraped across the floor with a loud screech and made both of them wince. Ever since she had woken up in recovery at the St. Kardia Hospital, he had been one of her constant guests. A stranger who merely volunteered to spend time with those with no family to see them; even though Lucy knew it was a kindness, the sight of him always filled her heart with a joy that twisted her stomach into knots. She had convinced herself he worked with the Hospital itself in order to get so much time with her, but that was merely wishful thinking.

"Well, duh, 'course I've got another job," His sudden reply interrupted her reverie as he reached out to flick her on the nose. She squawked in indignation and pouted. "How ya' feeling today?"

"Rude." Lucy huffed, though the gleam in her eye didn't match the acted tone. "Here I am, bed-ridden until further notice, head injured, and you go around flicking me. I should file a complaint."

"Tsch, shaddap and answer the question before I start callin' ya weirdo again." Natsu snapped back, grin crinkling the corners of his eyes while he settled himself into the hard chair. Lucy couldn't fathom how he managed to sit there for so long without complaint. Possibly the same way she laid in bed all day, counting the dots on the ceiling.

"Lightheaded, dizziness comes in waves still," She said as if ticking her issues off of a list, "I was taken to therapy today and managed to walk three steps without forgetting which way was up, so that's progress. Now I'm here, resting, bored and anxiously awaiting the icky food they'll bring me later- but at least there will be jell-o."

This made him grin. "Hah! Well, progress is progress, right?"

She lifted a finger to the air and stared at him pointedly, "Also wondering when you've ever called me weirdo. In all the time I've known you, you've only called me Lucy, Miss Heartfilia or Lu." It had been a few weeks, yes? Or was she getting her dates wrong? She made a mental note to check the Calendar- glancing towards the poster from the corner of her eye. The silence that followed made an alarm bell ring in her chest and Lucy's attention fell back on the man beside her- his jaw as tense and the color in his cheeks had drained away. "Uhh- Natsu?"

"Huh, I haven't?" He asked loudly, interrupting her question with a disruptive laugh. "Guess I thought it so often that I just assumed I'd call you it. You are pretty weird, after all."

"H-hey, I'm injured, not weird!" His gaze wouldn't meet her own as he continued to laugh, a forced chuckle that gave Lucy the sudden feeling of missing a step in the dark.

Any attempts to question his odd reaction went unanswered as he quickly changed the subject. Each visit always went like this. Questions about her day and the memories she had slowly regained through the past few weeks. Memory loss caused by head trauma: the day she had woken to learn of a car accident had been a day she almost died of a seizure. Lucy's last memory had been the day of her high school graduation and the shock of learning it had been ten years ago sent her body into shock.

From that day on, new things about her life were revealed slowly as the doctors were far too concerned of her reaction to remembering too much at once. Already she knew her parents had passed away - and the grief of learning such a thing had put her through a depression for days,- but she was finally gleaning information of her personal life before the accident.

Such as the books she had published in her name. Natsu waved a current one before her, grinning with boastful pride as he showed her signature on the back cover. "So- you were my fan-?" It was rather.. Insane to realize her life long dream had actually come true- did that mean other people knew of her condition? Her question only forced a large grin to split across his face as Natsu withdrew a few other books from his bag. Goodness, how many had she written!?

"I"d say I'm your number one fan," Natsu gushed, but the twinkle in his eye spoke of mischief, "but I think that honor goes to my son! Most of these were all signed for him."

"Aw, really?" Why did the knowledge of Natsu having a kid make it hard to breathe? He didn't have a ring on his finger, so he wasn't married, but that didn't mean anything now, did it? "You didn't tell me you had a son," She chided after getting the surprise of that out of her system- reaching out for the novels placed on her lap, she perused through the pages, surprised to see most of them weren't exactly for young children. Was his son a teen? (Aw, how cute, she had a teenage boy as a fan! She hoped he didn't get teased about it at school-)

Natsu snorted, crossing his legs as he leaned the chair backwards. "I'm here t'keep you company, not tell ya everything about me. Though he's the reason I can't stay too late- he usually needs picked up form school"

"Not old enough to drive himself?" She asked- stunned when Natsu's snort turned into an amused laugh.

"He's only seven, Lucy! What sorta seven-year old drives?!"

Her jaw dropped and she double checked the books on her lap, "-h-How was I supposed to know that?! What seven year old reads young adult books?!"

The pink-haired male pulled the novels from her as if banning her from further perusal. "Well, he can't read them all the way through yet- but he's super smart!" One after the other, he stuffed them back into his bag, dramatically pouting. Though, she wasn't positive if he was truly aggravated or just teasing her again. "His Mom always used to read to him every night from these books so he tries an reads them too now that she can't-!"

Silence fell as Lucy's eyes widened, mirroring the expression on Natsu's face. "His… Mother isn't around anymore?" The question fell heavy, filling the air with a presence that took Lucy's breath away even as Natsu's grimace thinned his top lip enough to reveal the grit of his teeth. "Y-you don't have to answer if you don't-"

"She's sick." He interrupted, voice hollow as he ran his hand along the back of his neck, almost nervous. "- very sick. Eli hasn't seen her in weeks."

"Is Eli his name?" Lucy whispered, stomach churning at this new information. Guilt was a strong emotion and she wondered many things. Why wasn't he visiting the mother of his child if she was sick? Or was he refusing to admit the truth to some more… depressing outcome? She chose not to ask these things, hating the fact she caused such a look to appear in her visitor's eyes.

He looked:  _ defeated _ . "Elias." He answered, finally pulling out a smile. "She named him actually. I thought it was a weird, myself, but she- … eh.. She always liked the weirder things. He likes it too."

The name slammed into herlike a tiny golf ball striking from the sky and Lucy winced when sudden liquid filled the corner of her eyes. "It.. it's a nice… I like it too." She stammered, unable to find the words or explain the feeling growing inside her. "I guess I like weird things." Distracted, her gaze tilted towards her window and a low sigh escaped. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried. This must be hard for you and you're supposed to be helping me, of all things."

"Don't beat yourself up over it-" Whatever grief that had struck him, flicked beneath the surface of forced amusement and Natsu grinned, tapping the tag on his chest. "If it's distracting you from what you're going through, then I don't mind so much."

A few chuckles followed, but the conversation was difficult to pick back up. Natsu tried to change the subject a few times despite the hospitalized blonde keeping her gaze focused on a distant spec on the wall; her mind traversing a maze with moving exits. Something felt so familiar about their conversation. The books, the name- all of it- a part of her realized it must have been because she had signed the books herself. She had to of met this little boy who loved her work. That had to be it, but she wasn't so sure.

Just when Natsu was starting to rant about sneaking her in an actual hamburger for the evening, Lucy couldn't contain herself. "Can I meet him sometime?" She asked, brown eyes meeting his once more, imploring. "Since he's my fan- I think I'd love to see him. Elias, I mean."

Natsu's rambling stopped mid-sentence, his own eyes widening as he met her gaze. "S-sure!" He said hoarsely, "I bet he'd like that!"

The topic was cut short from a hurried tapping just as Lucy had been asking when she might meet the young boy- curious how much like his father he looked, but paused in the attempt when the door opened. The tap had been a fluffy of knocks, the nurse who strolled through the doorway, in an obvious hurry. Her eyes glancing straight towards Natsu with a flush of guilty covering her pale face.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Heart- I mean,  _ Mr. Dragneel _ , but we have an issue. Can you please step outside a moment?" The room grew colder as Natsu stood, casting an apologetic glance back towards Lucy. The bedridden women hadn't missed the Nurse's correction- heart stammering in her chest.

_ Mr. Heartfilia? was that what she almost said? _

"What's going on?" Natsu asked, joining the women by the door as hushed whispers and another glance came Lucy's way. Their voices lowered to a decibel she couldn't' catch, but already the gears in her head were turning and a random shout from the hallway echoed off the halls.

"Dad! Daddy! I'm tired of waiting, can I see Mommy?!" The voice matched the pitch of any young child and Lucy watched as Natsu's stiffened, escaping through the doorway as a small form latched itself to his legs. Bending forward, his arms pulled the boy into his arms as small, desperate sniffles escaped. "- Can I? You said I could soon!"

Tears and Sobs. She could hear it from her bed and it felt like her rib-cage has been cracked- leaning over despite the rush of vertigo, she tried to get a closer look. Curiosity and a sense of foreboding spurned her on like a whisper in her head.  _ I have to see him. I HAVE to see what he looks like! _

"I know, I know, buddy- I did say ya' could, but didn't I say today wasn't a good day?" The soothing tone of her guest for the past few weeks felt like a warm, comforting fire, struggling to fight through a soft rain and he held the small child into his shoulder, tone turning harsh as he eyed the nurse. "Who left him by himself?!"

The conversation dimmed further, apologies and more harsh whispers dancing back and forth between them, but the need to see more won out and Lucy felt her lungs clench tight when she finally met the eyes of a little boy, clinging to his father's shoulders. He had eyes like Natsu-angled and dark, but the golden hair that gleamed like hers felt like looking in a mirror and his hand reached out a second before Natsu stepped out of sight. "-W-wait-!"

The wail echoed through her own throat, reverberating with the tones of a crying child and breathing became difficult.

_ Elias Heartfilia's  _ name rang through her and a sudden strike of pain forced Lucy to her bed again. Gasping as her eyes watered- pale hand weakly moving to cradle her own head.

"- c-come.. Come back!" She cried, before the world fell black- erratic beeps from the heart monitor shrieking to the ceiling.

He wasn't volunteering, was he?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to write some sads- as my Mother had a stroke this weekend and I've been quite emotionally.  
> Don't worry too much though, this is coming with a third part- and it will have a happier conclusion.

The shock had sent her into heart palpitations. 

It went too fast for Natsu. Just like the accident, he saw it all at oncel; his inability to react fast enough festered and spread like poison. The sudden loud beeping of the monitor and thrashing of her bed sent his thoughts and fears into overdrive.   
  
“M-mom?! Dad, somethin’s wrong with Mom!” He barely registered the shout, body whirling back towards Lucy, finding himself surrounded by nurses as more rushed into the room. “What’s wrong with Mom?!!?”   
  
“What’s happening?” Natsu echoed- voice much hollower than his son’s, body moving on auto pilot as he tried to push through the small crowd. His jaw tightened once the door slammed shut, blocking his view. “Hey! You told me Lucy wasn’t in immediate danger, What’re you doing?!”   
  
“Mr. Heartfilia, I have to ask you to go back to the waiting room, now!” Which Nurse was speaking to him? He could hardly hear her with blood pounding in his ears- the monitor’s screech seemed to echo louder than anything else. “Natsu- please! Think of your SON!”

_ My… son-?  _ Elia’s fingers gripping onto his shoulder as he screeched brought Natsu back to focus- arms moving quick to pull the boy tighter into his arms. Tears were streaming down his face, reflecting confusion and terror. Natsu  pulled the boys face into his chest, effectively blocking his eyes/. He couldn’t freak out, not yet- not with  _ him  _ watching. 

“...  it’s okay, it’s okay- “ Was it really his voice talking now? He could hardly recognize it, hoarse and rushed.  “They ain’t gonna let anything happen to your Mom, just don’t look okay? Focus on me right now. It’ll be okay, Elias, trust me-”

_ Trust me…. _

Could he even trust himself right now? Time moved fast and slow like a horrid mixture that left him dizzy. Lucy’s stress attack had kept her asleep for hours and the only thing the Doctors could tell him was the sight of Elias, even for just a few seconds, had put her body into extreme duress. Either a memory she wasn’t ready to have or some intrinsic instinct- he was sure whatever it was made more sense when the Doctor had said it to him, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around it.   
  
All he heard was the implication that his son was to blame for Lucy’s attack. And while that thought angered him- he knew from the beginning they would have to take it slow. She hadn’t even known him when she had woken- Believing herself still in school and still single. That revelation alone had gutted him, but being told he’d have to hide while she was unstable? 

Natsu couldn’t begin to explain how empty he felt when he removed his ring (and hers) from his finger, all to keep  it secret.  _ All to pretend he was nothing to her _ . A stranger.  He played with the rings in his pocket, watching her as she slept, back towards him. Lucy hadn’t woken from her slumber since he’d got there, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave while the echoes of her attack and Elias’ screams still clanged inside his head.

He was just… so relieved she was safe. - but.. Would it continue to be like this? Unable to know the truth? Unable to hold her son? Elias was taking it as hard as he- maybe even worse. The silent treatment, confusion, bursts of anger and acting up at School. Natsu wondered if he should have allowed Elias more than a week off to adapt but… What would Lucy have said once she remembered?

_ ‘School is important! And he needs to stay busy so he’s not worrying too much, Natsu!’  _ Yeah.. that’s what she would have said. Wiping at his eyes, he realized he was tearing up and tried to control his own emotions. He didn’t need to break down now!. Now definitely wasn’t the time either!  Grumbling, he focused his attention back to Lucy.   
  
_ I wish she’d roll over _ … While the sight of her blonde locks and back was nice, it would have been better to view her face. Somehow, it felt as if she was ignoring him. A silly thought, considering she was asleep, but he couldn’t shove the worry down.    
  
“... can.. Can I talk to ya’ while you sleep?” Would that be too much? He didn’t want to throw her into shock again, but… “I **t’s so damn hard-** ”. The guise of some nice, goofy volunteer visiting lonely people in hospitals worked for a time- but it withered every piece of him to do it. “I mean, I know I can’t tell ya some things while you’re awake…”

Could she somehow hear in her sleep? Despite passing high School and even making it through College, he didn’t have faith in his own education for this decision. Leaning over, he smoothed out the creases in her blanket and sighed. “It’s all my fault, isn't it? Should have been paying more attention… should have just gone out to th’theatre like ya’ wanted, but no, I convinced ya to go to that buffet instead…”

He was saying too much. Natsu knew, but he couldn’t stop, “I’m the stupidest idiot out there- can’t believe ya’ even married me, but.. I wish you could at least.. At least remember Elias- he.. He NEEDS you.”

Elias needs you. Our son needs you. 

_ I need you _ … “I-I can handle it..Somehow, but he’s so little.. He needs ya’ more than I do- …  **_who am I foolin?“_ **

The dam broke and salty tears streamed and Natsy bent forward, shoulders shaking. The steady beep of her monitor rang and distant sounds of the intercom echoed through the halls. Everything seemed too… sanitized, too cold too- .. too cagey. It wasn’t fit for Lucy.    
  
Lucy had never been made to be stuck in a cage… no.. she blossomed through organized chaos- and that wasn’t here.If he had been ten years younger he may have filled the room with balloons and confetti just to give her world more color., maybe then she would have been shining.

“.... he’s not a Dragneel.”

The voice was so quiet, Natsu almost missed it as his silent sobs stopped.  Watery eyes blinked and he rushed to wipe his face with the collar of his shirt. In a flurry of rushed movement.  When he looked up, his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, but they met honey brown and everything froze. She wasn’t asleep. Lucy’s eyes were just as puffed as his own, but the expression was unreadable. 

A dangerous sign.Natsu wasn’t sure what to think. “- what?”   The sound of his voice, rough from tears made him flinch. 

Lucy’s lips tilted into a half smile, but dispersed just as quickly. For someone Natsu had assumed was asleep, she looked far too awake and his stomach clenched in anxiety. Teeth nibbled her bottom lip as her brows furrowed, repeating her earlier statement. “Elias. He’s not a Dragneel.” Her stare grew all the more frigid _. “He’s mine isn’t he?” _

The way she spoke didn’t sound like the shock of someone realizing they were married with a child, but accusing: ownership. She recognized Elias after only those few moments?  - but… the gaze she held him down with revealed no connection to him. 

“- Isn’t he? Natsu?”

Words coiled into his throat, but he couldn’t make them form. What could he say? What did she want him to say? Would it harm her more? “I- .. look, Lu- I…” Hadn’t he just said she could forget him as long as she remembered their son? Breathing became much harder and Natsu balked at himself when words finally tumbled from his chapped lips.

“.... Yeah.. he’s yours.”

Natsu had known four types of fear in his life. The loss of his family and never regaining one was a memory that scorched from his childhood. Fear of rejection when he’d failed four times to properly propose to Lucy had made the Earth drop beneath his feat. The accident, when he had been told she may never wake up again- had been the worst fear he had ever known- coiling the previous two together for a horrid mixture that made him sick, but now he feared something else. 

The loss of his new family. Of his wife. Of his child- not to death, but to memory- “I wasn’t… you weren’t supposed t’see him yet.”

“I know.” Her answering statement made the contents of his stomach broil like a rising storm and Natsu swallowed thickly. There was a firmness in her tone that spoke so many things at once, he wasn’t sure where to start translating. Was she mad? What assumptions was she making at that very moment? “- I keep wanting to learn so much about myself, despite the dangers it brings to myself, but it really hit home when I saw him. He … has the most gorgeous eyes.”

Natsu chuckled, almost choking from his own lack of air, “heh- y-yeah… yeah he does.”  

“They look like yours.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that bef-” Jaw dropped and his own mind suffered a train wreck, “Wait what?”

Lucy wasn’t frowning anymore. Her breathing had grown harsh, not from stress or panic and the beeps of her heart monitor speed up at the rate of one having high emotion, but it did not scream or echo like the nightmare of days before. Natsu was shocked to see her own shoulders shaking as her eyes watered, sniffling as her fingers tightened within the sheets of her bed. 

How strange to find her beautiful in that moment, even with the tracks of wetness on her skin and the devastation that swam in her eyes. Natsu would keep that thought to himself- filing it away for later thought, like so many others he had in the past.  “Lucy-? … You… “ He couldn’t bring himself to ask what he so desperately needed to know.  _ Do you remember? _

“All this time,” She choked, clenching her eyes shut to stop a wave of tears from raining down against the bedspread, “I thought I was just so lucky to have someone like you visiting and I never even knew… God, h-how much have I hurt you?”

He wanted to argue. Not at all, you didn’t hurt me a damn bit! But the words wouldn’t come- a strange combination of shock and euphoria was dancing within his stomach. Was this the answer he sought? Did she know him? Was it finally ending?!

“ _ Married with the most beautiful son. _ **_And I can’t remember either of you-_ ** ”

The bubbling sensation of hope crashed against a wall of pain sucking the air from him and Natsu tasted blood on his tongue. He barely noticed the way his teeth had missed the mark when he bit down, hands flexing into tight fists. Was this how it felt to have your heart carved out?

He couldn’t see her through the tears that mirrored her own, stinging his eyes as he struggled to breathe. He was Natsu Heartfilia, former Natsu Dragneel- and he was crying in front of the love of his life. A woman who didn’t feel a thing for him. Not anymore.  “I- … the doctors think you’ll remember eventually.”    


“- did they say that’s a sure thing, or could I be like this for the rest of my life?” She snapped, shaking her head as guilt washed over her features. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I- … God, I’m MARRIED to you!”

Why did she make it sound so horrifying?  Silence fell between them, interrupted onto by the soft sobs of her shoulders and Natsu’s deep breathing as he struggled with the actions he could take. Even when they had met he was never good with words. Ever fiber in his being wanted to pull her close, hug her tight and tell her all the fears he’d had for weeks- all the things he had done to make things easier on her. 

No matter the cuts to his own heart, he wanted her to know he didn’t blame her- not one bit, but how?  His body moved from the chair before his common sense could come back to him- hand reaching for her, it’s intent unknown even to himself. - but Natsu paused just inches from contact, hand wavering over her shoulder as she turned to look at him. Caught before he’d even recognized his own actions. 

“I’m sorry.”  Lucy whispered, the tragedy of their situation and terrible crack in her very being. It broke his heart into pieces Natsu couldn’t be bothered to keep together. Elias wasn’t there- the strength he told himself he needed for his boy crumbled to dust at the sight of her tortured face. “I can’t…  I can’t feel anything for you… but.. But I know there is SOMETHING, right there in the back of my mind- but I just can’t reach it.”

“Don’t.” Natsu murmured, falling to his knees at the edge of her bed, contact lost before it had even started. “Don’t do that. It was an accident. It wasn’t your fault, Lucy- it’s… even if ya’ have t’start making new memories, I’d never put this on you.” 

His fault. Why did he let this happen. Why did he do this to her? To Elias? To them? Why, why, why- 

“.... will you help me?” A sudden touch of cold fingers on his hot cheeks made Natsu’s body surge with electricity. Lucy’s fingers were soft, not much pressure, but just enough to bring his gaze back to hers. “I can’t promise anything, but will you keep visiting? Will you… let me see my baby?”

The decision was made in an instant. Calloused hands grabbed her own, large and engulfing in comparison and he squeezed her tightly. Screw what the doctors would say. To hell with everything. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but her and Elias’ smile, he’d switch places with her in an instant just to fix everything if he could. 

“... I’ll bring him next week.” He promised, cracked smile finally splitting across his face. “I ain’t going anywhere, Lucy. Not ever.”

He’d make her remember… or give her new memories to fill in the spaces. Anything to stop those tears from falling.  - but for now, he let her cry, her own, watery smile breaking free at his words as she sobbed, frail fingers squeezing his own.

“- Thank you.”


End file.
